View Poll Results: For A Rep Point - Worth 9 Points Total - Predict Melo & STAT's Combined Point Total

Voters
35. You may not vote on this poll
  • 40

    2 5.71%
  • 41

    1 2.86%
  • 42

    1 2.86%
  • 43

    4 11.43%
  • 44

    2 5.71%
  • 45

    4 11.43%
  • 46

    3 8.57%
  • 47

    0 0%
  • 48

    7 20.00%
  • 49 - ADD YOUR ESTIMATE IN YOUR POST IF HIGHER OR LOWER

    11 31.43%
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Thread: Knicks V Celts - Season Opener - Dec 25, 12:00

  1. #1
    Evacuee Crazy⑧s's Avatar
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    Default Knicks V Celts - Season Opener - Dec 25, 12:00




    A MERRY XMAS TO YOU ALL. HERE ARE 20 BOOBS FOR YOU FOR BEING GOOD KNICKS FANS THIS YEAR.






    THE THREAD IS 1,000 TIMES BETTER IF YOU PLAY THIS '94 THEME SONG AND WATCH THE ENSUING VIDEOS AT THE SAME TIME.
    FOR FULL INSPIRATIONAL EFFECT, PRESS PLAY NOW




    WE ARE THE NEW YORK KNICKS



    AND IT'S OPENING NIGHT AT THE REVAMPED MSG, AGAINST OUR MOST HATED RIVALS.

    STIR UP THE EXCITEMENT, GENTLEMEN!

    THOSE BOYS IN BLUE ARE BACK!


    S.T.A.T






    MELO






    Toney D






    Landry





    Man Handler



    SHUMP De BUMP




    The Baron Wasteband



    Sky Walker















    A LOOK BACK AT THE YEAR THAT WAS

    If this video doesn't evoke your disdain for the Celtics, and your anticipation for this year after such a tumultuous season of trades and our reemergence from perennial laughing stock, you are not a fan of The New York Knicks



    And don't let's forget these 2 blood boiling incidents.






    After the trade whirlwind, we finally made it back to the post-season. It genuinely felt like our uprising had begun. After one critical non-call by the refs and 2 key injuries, we were swept away by circumstance, and had no plan B worthy of our opponent.

    The Knicks' season ended in a shower of disgruntled boos from their home crowd, as the nemesis Celtics swept us in 4 games; the last at home. It was the mother of anticlimactic disappointments.

    Disheartening, but undeserved.






    IT'S TIME TO PRESS PLAY FOR FULL EFFECT AGAIN. DO IT NOW



    NOW, AS WE ATTEMPT TO RESCALE THE MOUNTAIN, THE FIRST OBSTACLE IS THE SAME AS THE PREVIOUS SEASON'S LAST - THE HEINOUS, THE GAYNESS, THE BOSTON F'ING CELTICS.






    THIS XMAS, ALL KNICKSONLINE.COM WANT IS SOME FITTING REVENGE



    IT'S TIME...... OUR REEMERGENCE IS PRIMED. A NEW LOOK, A NEW FURVOR, A NEW THIRST.









    We Return To Battle As Juggernauts.



    CERBERUS





    In Greek mythology, Cerberus was a servant of Hades. A 3 headed wolf-hound that guarded the gates of hell from those attempting to flee. So very fitting.




    THE CRAZYS EXCLUSIVE FEATURE


    KNOW YOUR ENEMY



    故曰:知彼知己,百戰不殆;不知彼而知己,一勝一負;不知彼,不知己,每戰必殆。


    Since acquiring the league's biggest **** bag, Garnett, and the emergence of Rondo, Boston have eclipsed opponent's forced turnovers in ball handling and broken/intercepted passes. Last year, they topped the ladder by a total of 132 TOs in the combined categories.

    They are incredibly effective passers through positions 1-4, last year eclipsing opponent averages by 6 assists per game, 23.9 for VS 18 allowed.

    As a system, theirs is the antithesis of the Knicks style, with methodically run plays in which the focal is to hit the open man between seconds 10 & 15 on the clock. Rondo is the main facilitator. Stop him, and you stop Pierce and Allen from having opportunities created for in motion sets. If the chance arises, I am really, really looking forward to watching Shumpert guard Rondo. Toney Douglas was abysmal against him in last year's devastating sweep.

    And, as we all know way too ****ing well, Doc Rivers has D'Antoni's number. He owns his very own little piece of Italian.


    Fittingly, however, we now boast the best 5-4-3 combination since the Celtics' trio of Parish, McHale and Bird. Smoke that Red Auerbach.






    Spike's Spite




    “But this last time against Boston — you know that game where they disallowed Stoudemire’s three?—Kevin Garnett lost it. He was cursing me out for no reason. Maybe because Stoudemire gave him 39 points, but take that vulgarity to Stoudemire. I’m not holding you and I did not even say s— to Garnett the whole game. That really surprised me. He lost it. He was cursing at me the whole game. He needs to calm the f— down …

    I loathe Garnett. He is a piece of ****. I hope Amar'e smashes on him so hard that his bowel implodes and he suffocates on his own feces. No, really.








    Crazy⑧s' Big Fat Facts






    Last season, the Knicks went 8-29 when they shot less than 45 percent from the field and 13-32 when they made fewer than 10 threes.

    We can not continue to live and die as snipers. It's the Vanguard that will take this battle, and the 65 that follow. You'll hear me reiterate this like I've got alzheimers, but we must enforce our paint presence offensively. Particularly with Carmelo, The Beast On The Block, Anthony.














    MELO


    “WE HAVE A TEAM THAT CAN BE A GREAT DEFENSIVE TEAM. I'LL LEAD THAT CHARGE, I'LL TAKE THAT STANCE. ... AT THE END OF THE DAY, WE WILL BE A GREAT DEFENSIVE TEAM.”







    THAT SUDDENLY GOT INFINITELY EASIER AS WE PREPARE TO RELEASE THE MAN HANDLER














    THE STARTING (5)





    STAT




    It is said that when he dunks, the lesbian closest to him at the time is converted to a lover of the ****.


    MELO



    There are rumors that he was baptized in wolf's blood, and that he can impregnate nuns via ESP.


    Laundry Folds



    A reliable source has said that his man tadpoles have teeth, and that his gentleman's sausage is barbed.


    TD23



    Some say he has 5 testes that bang together like a desk toy when he dances.


    The Man Handler



    It is written that he was conceived during a satanic sex cult sacrifice, and his idea of a good night's rest is equivalent to Hugh Heffner's idea of a massive night on the *****.






    CRAZY⑧S' KNICK ON UAV








    The man who once wrestled a steak from betwixt the jaws of a liger - half black, half white & full blood dynamite.......


    LANDRY FIELDS: THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE




    I am a big fan of Dirty Laundry. I, as opposed to some, have utter faith, blind or no, that he will reemerge as a pivotal piece to pursuing the NBA's chalice.

    He needs to be included: wit, timing, anticipation, athleticism, strength, ups - the man is potent.

    His playoff appearances last year were woeful, true, but he was the sole member of the starting 5 that was erased from the game plan. Landry was lost, and will be found again.

    Landry can compliment our stars, and they will look the better for adding him to their games.







    Soundtrack V3



    knicksonline.com: Posters In The Spotlight.

    OUR VERY OWN BIG ③ FROM NYC





    Resident lunatic, COOLCLYDE.

    Originally Posted by CoolClyde
    I weel miss Deniro Gallopony's face he make-a when he hitta the shot.

    ciao main!
    Originally Posted by CoolClyde
    whatsa mattah knicka, sand in your vagina?
    We'd be lost without you, Cool C.







    iSaYughh

    Originally Posted by iSaYughh
    I want this win so bad my dick's gettin hard.
    Originally Posted by iSaYughh

    and thus we must all go through this heinous, downtrodden, morose period of the Knicks under MDA as coach,

    and not have esteemed bigs like Earl Barron, and others, proudly calling New York Knicks their own.
    The site's most cunning linguist. Orange and Blue poetry - readily available to you at the cost of a login.








    KingStarbury3

    Originally Posted by KingStarbury3

    On a side note, Is espn gonna do that magazine again with all the naked athletes? They gotta get Stat in there again, his physique is much more impressive now and he says that he grew an inch. Im not sure where he meant but lets put it this way, judging by that pic of Amare jumping into the pool, he cant get any smaller so theres only one way to go from there. And it didnt appear as if he was tuckin it in, i studied the photo for hours and zoomed in on it.
    Originally Posted by KingStarbury3
    Crazy8's Im gonna be marinating my wiener in ky jelly from the time you make the game thread to the time when the game begins...im about to bust like 20 nuts waitin for this game

    I've already busted 7 just thinkin about tomorrows preseason game
    Never afraid to beast on the gay jokes. I love this guy!!!!! (so homo)



    JORTS' NONSENSE



    At halftime of a game against the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville on February 17, 2009, Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie ordered Harrellson to listen to the game plan from a bathroom stall. After the game, Gillispie made Harrellson ride back to Lexington in the equipment van instead of on the bus with his teammates. It was later revealed that Jorts had shaved his name in to Gillispie's wife's back after performing eye watering anal sex with her, and slapped his grandmother with a strip of bacon as she she was emptying her colostomy bag. True story.

    Kentucky fired Gillispie at the end of the season, replacing him with John Calipari.








    It's raining men, da da, halleluijah, it's raining men, hey 'ey hey.


    On a more sombre note:

    FAREWELL TO SOME OF LAST SEASON'S KNICKERBOCKERS



    Thanks to you all, especially Ronny and Shawne.



    On a less sombre note, WELCOME ABOARD TO OUR NEW BROTHERS IN ARMS!




    IN PARTICULAR, WELCOME ABOARD TO OUR PIVOTAL PIVOT, TYSON 'THE MAD BYSON' CHANDLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...........









    SO GEAR UP, LADS! KNICKS' BASKETBALL IS BACK!


    THE ROAD TO THE NBA'S ONE COMMON GOAL - THE LARRY O'BRIEN TROPHY - BEGINS..............RIGHT.................


    Lastly, I would like to dedicate the following Big ③ video to those of you who patiently suffered through the last decade of Knick basketball. Particularly those who were members here throughout the tumult, and the woe.




    And remember - Boob Good









    I hope you enjoyed the thread, homies. I put nigh on 3 hours in to this one! It's because you're worth it! I won't be doing one of this magnitude until playoff time, as I have my first kid on the way. It's a boy! According to the quacks, he's huge and has the hands of a yeti! So, I'll be doing far less game threads this year and forthwith, as my sperm must now be fed and have its **** cleaned after it.

    Much 💓 Crazy⑧s.


  2. #2
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    Let me be the first to say, NICE!!!!!

  3. #3
    ★The Floor General★ Knicks4Life_1985's Avatar
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    Default

    Yall are off the chain. I will step it up this year game thread is sick as usual sir!

  4. #4
    Member Oakman88's Avatar
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    Default

    As usual awesome work

  5. #5
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    Default Thread of the Year

    the magnification of magnificence! this is why Knicks Online is the best forum anywhere in the world,
    from crazy (8) f*cking threads like this, to the knowledgable fans, most with a sense of humor,
    to the brilliance and international fandom of posters like this here papa-to-be Aussie in Nipponville.

    This is a fantastic thread (notwithstanding props to KO homies) that I enjoyed immensely!
    I listened to every great song, watched every great video, and laughed out loud at least 1/2 dozen times.
    I am proud to be a Knick fan, proud to be on this forum, and very proud of all the great posters here.

    Go NEW YORK Go NEW YORK Go You Talented Motherf*ckers!
    Cream the Celt-dicks into submission!
    Kill Dino-Garnott!
    Smash Paula Pierce-clit!
    Destroy Gay-jon Rondo!
    Gay Allen? Deny! his mom? f*ck her too!
    Brandon Balls-n-Ass? suck a green d*ck!

    sorry to hear about Jeff Greenheart, but everyone else on that
    team can eat sh*t and die!

    can you tell i'm pumped up?
    thankyou Ochos Locos and CONGRATS DUDO!


    one more preseasoner and then,
    let the real games begin!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by CoolClyde; Dec 20, 2011 at 11:29. Reason: another d*ck joke

  6. #6
    Veteran Sprewell-Houston's Avatar
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    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

    You masturbated all my senses at once with this thread!

    It's not as good as advertised, it's 10 times better!

    Crazy8's: You are the ****ing man bro!

    Best Knick fan I know since Spike

    It's an honor to have you onboard.


    Good luck with your first child, how old are you?
    And is the mother one of the Knicks City Dancers?

  7. #7
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    Default btw

    oh yeah, i predict 55 points for StatMelo

  8. #8
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    I picked 49 in the poll but I think Melo will have 30 and Stat will have 20, just a hunch based on nothing but hope

  9. #9
    Hannibal Lecter TR1LL10N's Avatar
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    This threads made my balls wet!

  10. #10
    SWAGABURY KingStarbury3's Avatar
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    The Greatest Game Thread EVER!!!!!!!!

    Im gonna have to go get a few extra tubes of KY Jelly for this one. Ill be back tonight with more comments on this, but right now its time to take a nap. But first i have to begin my procedure, it starts with me using a toothbrush (the same one i use for my teeth) to spread KY Jelly all over my shaft and grundle.

  11. #11
    Administrator rady's Avatar
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    Boy oh boy, this is the greatest game thread i've ever seen!! Man, i don't even care if we lose the game, this thread is a winner!!






    ps: i would totally cry if we lose to boston

  12. #12
    Huge Member smokes's Avatar
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    Take a bow my man. Great work as always.

    Now just to get through 5 days until the damn game! At least there's another juicy little preseason beatdown to give to NJ tomorrow.

  13. #13
    Superstar Pricey's Avatar
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    Cannot believe this thread. Unbelievable.
    Best thread i have ever seen.

    I just want to smash Boston right now after reading this.

  14. #14
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    Best thread ever.

    55 points combined for Stat & Melo. If Brandon "I chuck and suck" Jennings can do it, then...

  15. #15
    TYPE-A Red's Avatar
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    Thumbs up I threw the big font on

    YO!

    I'm listening to the music while peeping this thread. My G Crazy 8's!

    this **** is crazy!

    MY VOTE FOR THREAD/OP OF THE YEAR!

    Titties and all that!


    P.S. We'll take "big asses for $100 Alex"...

    save that for New Years Eve!




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