If Carmelo wont play your system, follow your rules, and displays poor body language on the court, wont play defense... THEN BENCH HIM. Kncks were 9-1. HAd he nipped it in the bud, his players would have respected him.
1) Dantoni is a non-confrontational guy.
2) He may be avoiding turning off potential futue employers by having a spat w/ a star player.
Either way, our coach lost the locker room (Lin, Fields, Stoudemire, Chandler) when he allowed this losing streak to balloon. He did bench Carmelo for 1 second half, but he has to call him out. He lost his moment to do that though. He allowed good vibes from the 9-1 to go POOF!
And when he benched Carmelo, he sat Amare. At least STAT is trying on defense, he's just not good at it.