It's a bit out of left field, but I'd love to see what some of you can cook up on this e-card site. There are some hilarious dudes in KO, and I'm always looking to add something to my game threads, so, go on, make an inappropriate and childish e caed here: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] and bring some cheer. I'll put the funniest ones in my GTs.
Here's my first attempt.
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In tandem with the enigmatic and superfluously endowed
am delighted to bring to you, the very first Crazy⑧s game thread in half a year. For those of you that suffer from epilepsy, high cholesterol, pregnancy, a prolapsed anus or heart disease........DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! We are here to massage you with KO goodness, right in the crux of your orange and blue soul.
What shall ensue, is the highly anticipated, highly debated
As the city's newest sworn enemies do battle, in a turf war fuelled by the encroachment of a Russian and his swarthy swarm.
The Knicks look to deliver the incipient blow against the newcomers, the usurpers, the fraudulent and over confident, Brooklyn Nets.
Good fellows, CoolClyde - a man of unmatched seminal yield - and I, Crazy⑧s, would like to kick off the thread's entertainment with a Knicks Mix put together by yours truly.
So please, sit back, relax, and prepare your senses for a veritable feast, as CoolClyde and Crazy present to you, the latest Crazy⑧s Knicks Mix, made solely for the viewing pleasure of KO members, as we embark upon the 2012-2013 season together.
It's no doubt a better view on YouTube, where you can watch on a larger screen and in 720p HD.[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
⑧1994 KNICKS Theme⑧
Because nothing you can do would be better without it.
CRAZY⑧S ヨXCLUSIVE FEA†URE
In his four preseason games prior to a poor yet limited outing versus the Knicks, Lopez averaged 18.5 points, 9.0 rebounds and 7.2 free throw attempts per game. He has also made 58.1 percent of his field goals and 82.8 percent of his free throws.
“He's rebounding the basketball well, he's scoring the basketball well, he's blocking shots, so he's active. And we're definitely going to need him, and we're excited to have him back in the lineup,” said closet gaylord, DeRon Williams.
Brook Lopez tallied up 5 games with the Nets last season due to a fractured ovary, I believe it was. He's come back to the preseason and played back to back games averaging nigh on 20 & 10, which I think will be a huge boon for their offence.
Without any other reliable inside, post presence excluding DeRon Williams who posts up well, the presence of Lopez will not necessitate in a more perimeter oriented offence from the Nets, and Jo Johnson and DeRon Williams will have their triple threat in full effect with Lopez looming 15 feet inward of the basket as both a decoy and a passing option
RESULTING KEY MATCHUP
Brewer VS Johnson
In light of Lopez's return to health and form, I see the resulting matchup being most critical for the Knicks considering our current injury status throughout the team.
Given the versatility that Lopez brings to Brooklyn's offensive versatility as an interior threat, along with the lanes and options it opens for the Nets high powered backcourt, I believe Ronnie Brewer will have to be the decisive factor in closing out the options for penetration and dish at the 2. Deron Williams will get his, but to deny Johnson of rhythm will be paramount in affecting the Nets' M.O.
Joe Johnson Must Be Stopped
Freezing out Johnson as a penetrate and kick option will aid in eating up the shot clock. The Knicks underachieving rebounders will be much better off forcing shots from range and isolation on contested jumpers, rather than battling for tips against the Nets heavy front-court.
Ronnie will need to fight through screens well, watch the curl and the baseline, and deny the passing lane as best as possible. Whichever of the 3 PGs is guarding Williams, will have to do their best to aid Ronnie by denying Williams penetration as much as possible, and force him to pick up his dribble.
To aid Ronnie in his attempt to lock down Johnson, the Knicks defensive communication and rotation will need to be crisp, alert and in sync.
CoolClyde's Keys To Victory
Can Carmelo penetrate the defense like he penetrates the many soft orificies of (ooh) Lala Vasquez, or will he settle for perimeter shooting even if his shot is not falling? Can Carmelo pass the ball when faced with double and triple teams, or will he cause more stagnation than Lala's cootch on a three-day ragfest?
Mike Wood Son. DEFENSITY = Defensive Intensity.
Can the Knicks as a team, led by Tyson the Man-Handler, keep Deron Williams from going hog-wild in the paint, dishing and swishing to Joe "gotta big" Johnson, Gerald "I am the f*cking Walrus" Wallace, and the 2-head monster of Kris "Mr K." Hump-freeze and "welcome to" Brook-Lynn Lopez?
Key Matchups - Raymond Felton vs Deron Williams:
Can Raymundo Feltip dip his wick in the offensive schematic and find his fellow 'bockers for easy buckets? Can Feltip keep up with Deron the Baron and prevent a facial painting and triple-draining?
Kurt Thomas vs Broke Pez:
With SHAT out, Gumby questionable, and the Manhandler hurting, can the 40-year old knees of Kurt "don't call me Zeke" Thomas maintain form in the paint, keep the 2-headed Nyet-ster from getting O-bounds, and actually contribute to the offense?
Here is where the Knicks should be able to excel, where J.Kiddo and Pablo Prigger run the second team like a well-oiled pimp in an argentina ho factory. if Junior Swish and Stevie "go "Caine" are hitting 3's, there is no stopping the Mobular Deep-end.
Is there joy in Cope-land?
The only definitive progress to come out of pre-season was the working relationship between the PG trigger of the Prigger and the man with the Natty Dreads. Copeland proved he can score points, but will the defensity-first mindset of Wood Son allow the dope offensive scope of Cope to give the Knicks hope?
⑧A hoops classic.⑧
"Ah, oh, Knicks. Yes, I've heard about this second team in New York.
"I think we're getting to where we will have an epic rivalry. It will be great for the fans, for the basketball. I think really, the coming of the arena and team to Brooklyn, we can finally put New York on the map. It's about time." Right now, however, I must go to torture an orphan, because I am psycho rapey Russian person from Russia. изнасилование время!
You Russian fückstick!
C.J Watson, Johnson, Williams and Teletovis are all marksmen. If there is poor perimeter defence from the Knicks, the floodgates will open for Brooklyn's penetrate and dish/penetrate and kick game. With the addition of the creative Marshon Brooks to the Nets' 2nd unit, surrendering the arc to the Brooklyn's offensive whims will almost certainly be the Knicks' undoing.
SHUT DOWN THE ARC
The 2nd unit in particular must not let Watson and Teletovis get hot, as I believe whichever bench provides the best spark for their team will determine the advantage for either team going in to the 4th.
Ray's Had An Earful
All I'm going to say is tune in to the first game, that's all I'm going to say," Felton said. "I'm not going to say nothing. I'm not going to do all that extra blabbing and talking that I've been hearing about other people doing over on the other side. ... I ain't about that talking. I'm about mine when we step on the court, so we'll see when the time comes, when it's time to lace 'em up."
Listening in on what KO's majestic members have been saying about the initial matchup between The Knicks and Brooklyn.
⑧It's a classic!⑧
The impeccably lengthy CoolClyde and I, Crazy⑧s, stealthily breached the Knicks' training centre this week dressed as Inuit lesbian reporters, to ask the Knicks' players a thing or 2 about their personal lives.
Using the pacifistic provocation go to, water boarding, Clyde and I were able to retrieve some of the less commonly known facts about our beloved Knicks and their private lives.
Here is an exclusive look at some of the NYK's more privy personal sides.
FACT Has sex during thunder storms and pretends that he's taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.
FACT He is called 'Ding Shong Kung Pow Po' in Mandarin, which means: man who dunks young bung but no call them back to apologise for broken mud button.
FACT His pet name for his penis is "Hercules the Brown".
FACT His idea of a good nights sleep, is Hugh Heffner's idea of a big night on the poon.
I @M ImAñ
FACT Once took part in a covert operation to rid the world of gingers. Codename: FantaHater.
FACT He is now so old that his balls are haunted.
R◎NNイE B GooD
FACT Suckled on the teat of a Liger as an infant, and can rub one out faster than Usain Bolt clears a hurdle. Impressive.
ThE MåN HANDLER
FACT Once punched the AIDS out of a monkey.
FACT Once bear-hugged an asylum seeker.
FACT Was imprisoned overnight in Argentina for wrestling the homeless.
ヨåRL $mITh ③
FACT His man paste is comprised solely of The Higgs Boson.
FACT Is capable of extra sensory sexual harassment. Nice! He also partakes in cult fertility rituals as The God Of Backdoor.
FACT Once impregnated a nun by winking at her.
I, Crazy⑧s and CoolClyde - who, by the way, boasts a trouser snake only slightly smaller than that of King Kong's dad - are proud to have given you this exclusive insight. Thank you.
Joined in January this year, and has been an absolute diamond. Members like NYk_Reloaded718, are a huge reason this site is as sensational as it is.
Hats off to you sir, from all of us.
I've been a Knick fan since the mid 90s and for the past 10 years i've been waiting for New York to get back on top where it used to be two decades ago.
This year's Knicks team is gonna be awesome! Ok, bad joke, i really don't wanna jinx it, but the way it's been assembled is looking very promising! We all have been dissapointed by the way that whole Jeremy Lin saga turned out for us but getting our '99 vets back made it easier to deal with.
Felton comes after a rather bad season but we've seen him play with Stoudemire two seasons ago and what a combo they were! With him getting back in shape over the summer and with backups like Prigioni and Kidd we shouldn't be worried who's running the point. Our bench is deep. Deeper then it's ever been lately. The only thing that can come against us is injuries. We've had a history with this last season and nobody wants to go through it again!
The first game is going to be tough. And big. Probably the key to the start of the season. A loss in Brooklyn would be extremely tough to swallow, especially with the Heat and the Sixers waiting just around the corner. The Nets have also made some really bold statements and are taking this rivalry to the extreme. Talk is cheap, we're ready! And we have new uniforms!
The Knicks finally have a team I feel can compete for a championship. We're stacked at the guard position, Melo is fresh off a gold medal championship run, we're packed with defense, and Woodson is our headcoach, who preaches defense.
We have some injuries now, but we're deep, and I feel we can compete every game. The oldest rookie in NBA history, Prigioni, is looking like he could be Rookie Of The Year. His chemistry with Chris Copeland has already been impressive. Will it be the same in the regular season and beyond? Also just saw that Copeland is 28, not that young either, but young and less mileage.
Felton has not only been good, he's looking like the Felton we saw in the first half of the season with the Knicks a couple seasons ago. When this team has all it's men healthy, they're gonna do damage.
I've been a Knick fan since 1998 (age 10), and I've never been more confident with any other team.
A Level defenders: Chandler - Brewer - Shumpert - Thomas - Camby - Wallace
A level Passers: Prigioni and Kidd
A level scorers: Anthony - Amar'e (hopefully?)
★ I don't know where Felton and Smith fit in on this team, this season will answer that.
I predict 51 wins for the Knicks this year.
A loss to the Nyets wouldn't help, so lets dedicate this game to all the fans who've waited 10 years like me, or over 20 years like Kiyaman and many other fans on this forum, to see a respectable and enjoyable Knicks season.
We may get close to a championship with this team we have, but I don't know how we can overcome the Heat.... but a championship in itself would be like a goddess whore sucking you off with 40 tongues and feeding syrupy heroin into your penis while she’s sucking....LOUIS CK, haha.
My name's Al. I'm 32, I enjoy walks on secluded beaches and eye watering anal sex with Asian ladies. Preferably ones without phone numbers or STDs.
I'm excited about the Knicks' roster overhaul. Our depth hasn't been this strong since 1992, IMO. The vets, the youth, the return of Ray who looks poised for a great season. The under the radar acquisition of Prigioni who looks sensational. The inspirational Rasheed Wallace. The defensive stalwart Camby. Unreal. Optimism is soaring right now.
I see the Knicks winning 48 games this year, and potentially winning a 2nd round series against either Indiana or Boston to make it to the ECF series.
Well, lads, that's that done and dusted. It was a f*cking mission and a half of a thread to make, and the video wasn't exactly a simple finger in the bum, either.
I'd like to make it clear that you're all part of one of the things that make my day, every day. I haven't the opportunity to talk Knicks here in Japan, as the language barrier just makes in-depth analysis of teams, individuals and otherwise borderline impossible.
I'd love for us all to help take the site to the next level, but in saying that I know that each man has his own level of involvement here in, and that some may be less inclined to push KO further in to the future. That, naturally, is absolutely reasonable and understandable.
Big shout outs to my familiar favourites on here - CoolClyde, iSaYughh, KS3, StEphOnMarBurY, NYk_Reloaded718, CA7, ronoranina, smokes, rady, RunningJumper, New New York, LeFlume and all others I've missed.
And to all of you newcomers, as well; may you have a flukey day just drowned in hot poon.
To all of the KO brethren, don't you dare f*cking expect another GT of this magnitude for a very long time, all of you.
The best motherf*cking Knicks site on the WWW, and we're on the way to even bigger and brighter things in the very near future.
Last edited by Crazy⑧s; Oct 28, 2012 at 08:28.
Reason: spelled "brooklyn" broollyn
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