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Thread: KNICKS vs MAGIC OFFICIAL GAME THREAD - MARCH 28, 2012

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    Default KNICKS vs MAGIC OFFICIAL GAME THREAD - MARCH 28, 2012 - 7PM EST


    MARCH 28, 2012

    VS


    Our beloved Knicks are beset by injuries, as A'mare Stoudamire is OUT, sitting tall and talented with a bulging dick.
    Speaking of bulging dicks, Carmelo has a groin injury unrelated to Lala's overzealous blowjob regimen,
    and may or may not play, and Jeremy Lin has a sore knob, erm... knee.



    Sadly, the Giraffe known as Jared Jeffries has been out for the past couple games and will probably
    miss another couple weeks. After much berating and belittling for the past few years, the Giraffe has found
    his defensive niche within the Knicks lineup, and his presence shall be missed as well.



    The New York Knicks are back to .500 with a 25 - 25 record, while the Orlando Magic have a respectable W/L of 32 - 18.
    The Magic are 7-3 in their last 10 matchups while the Knicks have won 7 of their last 8 contests
    under interim coach Mike Wood Son



    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

    FACT: Magic beat Knicks in January in N.Y. on strength of 17 3-pointers, included a combined 14 by
    Ham and Rye Anderson, Homo Turdoglue and J.J. Red Dick.


    Magic-Knicks Preview c/o ESPN.GO.COM
    The injury bug may have hit the New York Knicks at the wrong time as they cling to the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference.

    With Amare Stoudemire out and Jeremy Lin and Carmelo Anthony questionable to play Wednesday night, New York hosts the surging Orlando Magic, who have won seven of the last eight meetings.

    Stoudemire is out indefinitely with a bulging disk, and Lin may miss a second consecutive game with a sore left knee. Anthony scored a game-high 28 points in an 89-80 win over Milwaukee on Monday despite a strained right groin, but it's possible the injury could keep him out Wednesday.

    Anthony said he felt the need to contribute more without Stoudemire and Lin, and he helped the Knicks (25-25) extend their slim lead over Milwaukee for the last playoff spot.

    New York has won seven of eight since interim coach Mike Woodson took over March 14.

    "I've just got to step my game up," Anthony said. "We've been winning. As far as scoring the basketball, we really haven't been needing that. It's been pretty much spread out but now with them two guys, there ain't no telling what's the situation with them. So it's just time for me to step my game up in all aspects."

    The Knicks have averaged 87.8 points over their last four, but they've won three times while allowing 83.5 points per game in that stretch.

    Woodson has helped New York transition from the run-and-gun offense of former coach Mike D'Antoni to a defensive focus, which he said is most important if the Knicks are to contend.

    They are allowing an average of 86.0 points under Woodson compared to 96.5 under D'Antoni.

    "There are going to be nights where we bust loose and make shots and put up big numbers," Woodson told the team's official website. "What has to be a given has to be our defense. We have to continue to defend and rebound. If we do that, we will put ourselves in position to win games."

    New York will have its work cut out against an Orlando team that tied its season high for points in a 117-101 win over Toronto on Monday.

    Ryan Anderson hit a career-high eight 3-pointers and finished with 28 points. He fell two points shy of the career-high 30 he scored in a 102-93 win at Madison Square Garden on Jan. 16, when he hit seven 3s.

    Dwight Howard scored 23 points and grabbed 10 rebounds Monday for the Magic (32-18), who have won three straight.

    "Dwight was dominant inside and they were leaving Ryan open on the perimeter so it was pretty easy to get shots," coach Stan Van Gundy said.

    Anderson has hit an NBA-best 143 shots from 3-point range.

    "That's amazing," Howard said. "I'm happy for him. We all love the way he's been playing."

    Howard scored eight points in the first meeting with the Knicks, ending his string of nine straight double-doubles in the series, during which he averaged 25.4 points and 16.3 rebounds.

    Anthony scored 33 points in that game and is averaging 28.6 points lifetime against the Magic -- his best versus any team except the 29.9 he averaged against the Knicks while with Denver.


    SUPERMAN comes to NYC!

    DWIGHT HOWARD
    the biggest and best true Center the NBA has seen in years, will be flying high and dunking hard on the Knicks,
    it is up to Tyson Chandler the Man Handler to hold Dwight in check and prevent him from getting offensive
    rebounds and dunkathons.

    FACT: Howard had just eight points and six turnovers in team's first meeting.

    FACT: Dwight's brothers Moe and Curly may be in attendance to promote their new movie!

    here are the other Orlando Magicians we've got to look out for:

    HOMO TURDOGLUE
    a sharp shooter and great passer, one of the best euro-to-US imports in the NBA.
    he's known to be a florida tornado and can catch fire at any time



    JAMIRROR HALF NELSON
    a NY-bred point guard has been a Knick killer in the past, swishing 3's like a rooster in a hen house,
    filling holes aplenty in quick flashes.


    HAM AND RYE ANDERSON
    one of the best three-point shooters in the league, the Knicks will need a tough perimeter
    defense to prevent Ham and Rye from getting into a triple decker vortex.


    JASON RICHARDSON aka JAY DICK
    another on and off shooting guard, when the Dick Son is on his game, he is virtually unstoppable,
    and is also a threebie threat. JayDick has had problems staying healthy this year, hopefully he won't be 100% tonite.

    BENCH DOG
    beware the hound off the bench, ex-Knick and Mike Antoni's love dog


    CHRIS DUHOUND
    still a piece of sh*t sitting on a bench, Knicks cannot let their guard down against this fecal threat of bad memories.


    PRESENTING YOUR
    NEW YORK KNICKERBOCKERS
    STARTING LINEUP




    MIGHTY TYSON CHANDLER - THE MAN HANDLER
    The most consistent player on the revitalized Knick squadron, The Mighty Tyson is the true center
    Knicks have been missing since Patrick Ewing roamed the MSG paint. His offensive rebounding and tap outs
    are a welcome addition to this year's Knicks, and his magnificent slams are known to provide orgasms and
    multiple scorgasms to Spike "look at me" Lee. As mentioned, His defensive presence against Dwight Howie will be KEY tonite!



    JEREMY speaks in LINguistics
    The missing point guard has provided spark and circumstance, and propelled the Knicks to prominence yet again.
    With STAT out, and MELO questionable, will we see a return to Linsanity? Jermy has continued being aggressive,
    to the point of getting hit in the face almost every game, yet we must complement coach Wood Son
    for giving him rest when other coaches would ride him like Secretariat. We predict LIN shall start tonite and
    get back into the flow, and tie one on the Magic with his magical forays into the paint.


    If Jeremy cannot get off the bench tonite, look forward to another start by:


    BARON VON HERNIA
    After months of sideline action, the man who was picked to be the interim point guard of the future
    has rejoined the Knick ranks, and steadily improved his game, getting back to form, if not back to his youthful legs.
    Baron Davis' brief stints show shards of genius playmaking and makes the current Knick bench a Mob Deep in talent.



    CARMELO TONY
    aka "LALA's LOLLIPOP"
    damn that groin! Carmelo groin-gimped off the court after an impressive 28 and 12 versus Buckers.
    Lala's boy has played thru ouchies most of the season, and seeing that STAT is down and out, we predict he will
    suck it up and start this game. his slow but steady return to form is welcome to the Knick faithful.



    I-MAN SHUMPERT
    we love our man Iman, but we think IMAN the model is sexier.
    Shumvpert has been showing flashes of maturation, not chucking threes as much, dishing and swishing
    into the paint, and most importantly, being the defensive juggernaut Knicks management hoped he'd be,
    at the top of the league in steals, and being an important cog in any Knickerbocker win streak.



    LAUNDRY FOLDS
    Can Landry, son of Mrs. Fields, get past the sophomore wall after the first quarter? sometimes he folds
    the laundry better than many shooting guards when he drives to the basket, and is capable of splendid dunks
    and passes, and the occasional three, but his production seems to ebb out of the flow deeper into the game.
    We want our Laundry clean and consistent!

    and the BENCH DYNAMO

    JUNIOR SWISH
    the thunder thug, the tattooed wonder slam, one of the most athletic shooting guards in the league,
    can rise to challenge Orlando's three point threats with barrages of triples and incredible dunks that would make a porn star blush.

    here's JR's equally-tatted girlfriend

    yum!


    CONGRATULATIONS TO THE KNICKS CITY DANCERS 20TH ANNIVERSARY


    for providing many mid-game hardons for two decades!


    Some eye candy for my fellow KO posters






    PLAY BALL! whatever ball you want honey!

    and finally, for your pleasure, the daughter of our coach,
    Mariah Wood Son. she gives wood, son. yes she do.



    New Knicks Free Agent STAG!
    A new PF free agent is being looked by Knicks mgmt.
    by the name of STAG (Standing Tall And Green)



    Last edited by CoolClyde; Mar 28, 2012 at 14:32.

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    This thread gave me a boner

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    (encore! encore!)

    Lmao, what an excellent read. Like re-visiting a fine wine or a non-fattie willing to do anal, I'll be going back and re-reading the roster lineups many, many times.

    Duhound -- "Hound of the bench, and Mike D'antoni's former love dog"

    Ham and Rye Anderson....too funny, too too funny.

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    Wow i really enjoyed reading this.
    Thank you and !

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    Huge Member smokes's Avatar
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    A resounding and astounding game thread here, props to you!

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    Member CoolRunnings's Avatar
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    Off topic but barely anyone showed some love for Melo's game last night. 28 points, 12 boards and solid D. He hit countless big shots last night and went 12-12 from the line.

    We need this Melo to start showing up night in and night out. He needs to play like he used to in this vid.


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    Originally Posted by CoolRunnings
    Off topic but barely anyone showed some love for Melo's game last night. 28 points, 12 boards and solid D. He hit countless big shots last night and went 12-12 from the line.

    We need this Melo to start showing up night in and night out. He needs to play like he used to in this vid.
    Countless is a tad dramatic. He hit 8 shots out of 20. He usually hits 5/15 or around that.

    I'd say Dunleavy hit "countless big shots" - Melo hit 3 more shots than average and finally hitting free throws. I'm just glad the Bucks were Team AiRBALL the other night.

    *Melo continues to show improvement, but you make it sound like something to go down in history haha. Looking forward to seeing more improvement, as long as injuries don't force him to sit.

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    SWAGABURY KingStarbury3's Avatar
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    Hilarious Game thread, lol @ Amare being in the Knicks City dancers pic

    Off topic, but who would smash JR Smiths girl?

    Tatted up freaks usually aint my thing but I would bone her until my d*ck has ink on it

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    TYPE-A Red's Avatar
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    Love the thread clyde!

    Lol at the Laundry Folds & Iman pics.

    I'm considering sitting Melo. Groin injuries can linger, and we need him at 100%.

    Without him + Stat we lose in the playoffs. If there is a playoffs.

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    BALL DON'T LIE MeloforMayor's Avatar
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    This is going to be an interesting game to watch. Probably the toughest opponent our Knickerbockers will face since the start of the Woodson Era. With STAT definitely out with the bulging dick, I hope Woody inserts Shump or JR into the starting lineup to compensate for the scoring hole left by Amar'e. I love Landry and thinks he's done a great job of defending and rebounding, but the lack of a decent jumpshot in his game is a terrible fit for the starting lineup, especially with Stoudemire out. Melo needs a shooter camping out behind the arc for when he decides to post and toast to keep the opposing defense honest and not overcommit on doubling him.

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    Nein, Mann! Lercher's Avatar
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    Knicks released Amare's MRI: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

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    Member CoolRunnings's Avatar
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    ESPN is reporting that Lin is out for tonights game. Hopefully Baron can go for 30-33 min tonight. Cause I cant stand Bibby, Douglas and Shump running the point guard.

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    woodson get jordan out there!.

    - late Q1/early Q2 let jort hack howard.
    -avoid any big leads on the by the time of half.
    -Q3/Q4 let jordan hack howard.
    -oscar time flop flop flop
    -howard shoot ft all day.
    -perimeter defense!
    -tyson rebound and deflection all day.
    -defense
    -defense
    -defense
    -a bit of luck
    -more defense

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    Member CoolRunnings's Avatar
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    The key to tonights game let Tyson match up with Dwight and keep Orlando out of thier game plan. Which is Dwight in the middle and 4 outside shooters. Guard Anderson don't let him go off tonight. I think the other night he hit 8 three point shots. (Jeffries would have been perfect for tonight.)

    -I expect to see Jerome get like 5-10 minutes tonight, pretty much to eat up fouls.

    -Attack Dwight, he is known to get into foul trouble. The more he is off the court the better.

    - Feed the ball to Melo. J.Rich, Anderson, and Quinten cant guard him one on one.

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    Originally Posted by Dzwonsson
    Knicks released Amare's MRI: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    lol. Diagnosis, limp dick not bulging dick. Treatment, deep tissue massage by Asian masseuse below.

    Cool thread, CoolClyde. Def 4 star production.


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