(Chandler and Morris, sittin by themselves)
chandler: Its like they dont know were part of the team
Morris: I noticed the same thing, none of them talk to us
chandler: Maybe if we start goin to Burger King all the time, we will at least fit in with the fat players on the team.
Zach R: Who the f*ck called me and my buddies fat?
Morris: uhhhh shit. Wilson, what should I say
Chandler: fuck. blame it on someone else
Zach R: I said who the F*ck is callin me Jerome and Eddy fat? Who got beef with us? I aint f*ckin playin!!!!!
Morris: uhhhh Wilson said it. I told him to shut up, but he kept callin you guys fat.
Wilson: no hold on a second...
Zach R: Stand up rookie, im gonna know you the f*ck out!!!!
Wilson (lookin shook): um i didnt mean anything. Im sorry, zach.
(Randolph beats the sh*t out of Chandler while Morris laughs)
Zach R: What are you laughin at rookie, you want some?
Morris: no i dont want trouble with you. But im not a rookie, its actually my 2nd year. I dont know if you remember, but i played last year...
Zach R: I called you a rookie. I didnt ask for no explanations. Keep talkin and IM gonna give it to you hard you son of b*tch!!!!
Morris: Your gonna give it to me hard? (Wilson yells) Hey Everyone!!! Zach is gay, he didnt say no homo!!!!!
(The rest of the team laughs)
(Zach beats Morris down, hospitalizing him)
Nate R: hey zachery, your record is 1-2 now. You beat up the rooks but you had no answer for me
Zach R: yea well.....(mutters) asshole
Nate R: what was that?
Zach R: I said ask Dolan
Nate R: ask him what?
Zach R: when Isiahs gettin fired. Oh yea, thats right, Q-Rich killed all of them and Crawford.
Q-Rich: damn rite, thats how we do it where im from, Chi-town ya heard.
(Vince Carter arrives, after bein traded for Zach Randolph)
Vince Carter: Now im stuck with this mess!!! Id rather play for the Wolves!!
Nate: Whats good Vince, welcome to the Knicks: We suck.
Vince Carter: yea I know. Whats Zach still doin here?
Zach: I have decided not to go to New Jersey. Im going to retire, and hang out with Eddy and Jerome all the time.
Vince Carter: Sucks for the Nets, good way to screw over that camel owner we have, jay-Z. Hes always wearin his jeans with open toe sandels, what a fag.
Q-Rich: Nas>>>Jay-Z
Vince Carter: Marbury>>>Jason Kidd
Eddy: I agree, at least he doesnt beat his wife
Lee: I beat it to his wife, that b*tch fine!!!!!
Vince Carter: I use to f*ck his wife all the time, behind his back
Q-Rich: (To Lee) Whats the matter white boy, you aint gettin no p*ssy?
Lee: No I it uhh uhh it was a joke
Eddy: stop lyin, we can all tell when you lie
Lee: how can you tell?
Q-Rich: because your hair sticks up when you lie
Lee: shit, when did you notice this?
Jerome James: As soon as training camp began when you were a rookie
Lee: shit, that means you guys knew I was lying when I said told everyone I was naturally gifted, and that I was always a good jumper. Why didnt anyone call me out?
Q-Rich: so we could tell how many lies you told.
Vince Carter: IF you werent born with them hops, how did you get them?
Lee: Theres these steroids that make you jump higher
Nate R: the same ones i been taken since I was 10?
Lee: Do you take the
vertical elevator steroids?
Nate: yup, been taken them for a while.
Q-Rich: hook it up, i cant get up like i use to
Lee: Thats exactly what your wife told me the other night
Nate R: His hairs not stickin up this time
(Q-Rich pulls out his gun and murders David Lee)
Vince Carter: You just killed the 3rd best player on the team, with Marbury being 1st and me being 2nd
Q-Rich: big deal, white boy f*cked my wife!!!!
Nate R: If Isiah was still alive, he would be happy to see david dead. He always regretted us drafting him, because hes white.
Q-Rich: F*ck Isiah!!! F*ck Crawford and Lee!!!
(The first NBA controversy since Tim Donaghy)
David Stern: Ladies and gentleman, I have been brought here today to let everyone know that alot of NBA players have incredible leaping ability, but some of them have used illegally banned substances to obtain this unfair advantage. I am hiring a private investigator to find every player in my league who was used this substace called
vertical elevator. Its a type of steroid that makes you jump higher. At the current moment, we only know that David Lee use to take them until his recent, tragic, unsolved death. Thanks for your time, and I will be back for another press conference when more facts are known.
Charles Smith: (New Knicks coach) Im not here to determine who on this team is using steroids. My job is to coach.
Scott Layden: (returning as gm): If anyones name is on that report, you will be traded for overpayed players. My job is to rebuild this team, Isiah ruined the team I had built but unfortunatley hes no longer with us. I will bring us back to the promise land!!!!
(Team meeting, without coaches)
Marbury: Damn, they brought in Charles Smith as our new coach?
Mardy Collins: That guy cant make a layup
NAte R: neither can you
ut that pierce on the phonE!
