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Thread: Christianity in 30 Seconds

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    Default Christianity in 30 Seconds

    An almighty God decided he was either bored or lonely so he creates a universe of immense size to house one small, third-rate planet where he can create beings whose purpose is to make him feel better by loving and adoring him.

    Since God needed to be sure his created people would only love him because they chose to love him, he gave humans the free choice not to believe him. Unfortunately, the very first human chose to ignore this God, and this God got all pissed and put a curse on the little planet and all its future inhabitants. In fact, he even created a scenario where after the first human chose to disobey, all subsequent humans would be born automatically bound for hell unless they accepted God's bizarre get-out-of-hell-free option. Rather than simply give humans the option to die and no longer exist, this God decided he would forever burn the skin off of those who didn't choose to love and adore him.

    Thus this God, in his infinite love, informed his created people that they need to either love and adore him or they'll go to the hell he created, which basically negates the idea of giving people free will. After all, most humans will make choices they would not otherwise make when someone is holding a gun to their head.

    Of course, this God, knowing everything that will happen in the future, foresees that more than 95% of the people he creates (without asking us if we wanted to be created) will either not be well enough informed to get out of hell or will simply reject the idea of a need for Christian salvation. But the Christian God, knowing this in advance, still decided to create these humans even though he knew he'd end up torturing billions of them in an endless lake of fire, all so he could have a handful of the faithful to give him love and adoration.

    Not yet satisfied, this God decides to create his get-out-of-hell-free card by killing his own creation or by killing his own son. First he has his followers kill and burn animals because he really got off smelling the burning blood. Then he turned his son into one of his creation so he could have him beaten and killed with his blood flowing everywhere. And to top it off, he also said that those who love and adore him should then either symbolically or literally eat the human flesh and drink the human blood of his son in order to fully love and adore this God.

    This God really loves spilling blood and then making people drink it.

    Finally, this God decided to tell his created people of this plan through a cryptic and hard to interpret set of books and then relied on his created people to join together to decide which of those books really came from this God and which ones did not. They couldn't do it based on evidence, however, so they just basically guessed. Because this God didn't decide to make it clear to all humans just how to get their get-out-of-hell-free card, this God allowed the obvious confusion to lead to thousands of different interpretations of this set of books, meaning many who think they have found God's get-out-of-hell-free card actually will still be tossed into the lake of fire by this loving God.

    Oh, and to make it even worse, this God decides to be mute most of the time, and instead asks those who love and adore him to be his spokespeople, thus allowing all kinds of strange things to be said in his name.

    Amen, and pass the plate.

    BTW: Everything I listed here is biblically supported and exists in all major Christian doctrines. Most, however, make it a little more palatable and flowery.

    (I saw this I just had to post this here...

    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

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    Darwin is liked by evolutionists because he liberated science from the straitjacket of observation and opened the door to storytellers. This gave professional evolutionists job security so they can wander through biology labs as if they belong there.

    --- David Coppedge
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

    (This post was needed because there is an enormous amount of bloated evolution "theory" flying about these forums-)

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    Originally Posted by Akamu
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

    (This post was needed because there is an enormous amount of bloated evolution "theory" flying about these forums-)
    Scientists disagreeing about what's contained in the theory but not the evolution is how we current modern day humans evolved..nor do I hear any of the scientists stating..."GOD DID IT" either.

    Nothing wrong with scientists disagreeing over the finer points...

    But its a quantum ****ing leap to suggest EVOLUTION is NOT accepted by scientists...fine tune the theory for sure..no problems with that..unlike the primitive religions of morons which cannot evolve beyond what is written in their magic fairy tale books.

    At the end of the day science is an always will be superior to religion because it can evolve.

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    It's funny how you will only respond to something you "think" you can answer, when your not even completely sure about it.

    Let me just put it to you this way Mr. Evolution, Mr. Atheist, whatever you want to call yourself.

    It can be a 50 / 50 chance...

    Believing in God's word, that being the Bible, repenting for your sins and trying to live a decently honest life, and believing in God. Creationism is much more interesting, and better proven.

    -OR-

    You can run with your Evolution, Atheistic views and the people that back up this evolution stuff (wonder what some of them believe in.) Evolution happens to be an explanation aka "theory" that is not solidly proven.

    Basically you have "faith" in this evolution theory, and I have "faith" in God and his word.

    That is soley for you decide, keep researching-

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    That article shuts them down. Period.

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    Originally Posted by Akamu
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

    (This post was needed because there is an enormous amount of bloated evolution "theory" flying about these forums-)
    That article is completely false. We've seen evolution occur in species today. Mr. Conspiracy Theory, or whatever you want to call yourself, you don't know sh*t about evolution, genetics, and the classification of species. Don't bother trying to argue the subject here. Fact remains, you cannot prove intelligent design, but we can prove evolution. Now, go back to the real story telling...the bible.
    Last edited by LJ4ptplay; Aug 08, 2008 at 09:22.

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    Originally Posted by KnicksFan4Realz
    An almighty God decided he was either bored or lonely so he creates a universe of immense size to house one small, third-rate planet where he can create beings whose purpose is to make him feel better by loving and adoring him.

    Since God needed to be sure his created people would only love him because they chose to love him, he gave humans the free choice not to believe him. Unfortunately, the very first human chose to ignore this God, and this God got all pissed and put a curse on the little planet and all its future inhabitants. In fact, he even created a scenario where after the first human chose to disobey, all subsequent humans would be born automatically bound for hell unless they accepted God's bizarre get-out-of-hell-free option. Rather than simply give humans the option to die and no longer exist, this God decided he would forever burn the skin off of those who didn't choose to love and adore him.

    Thus this God, in his infinite love, informed his created people that they need to either love and adore him or they'll go to the hell he created, which basically negates the idea of giving people free will. After all, most humans will make choices they would not otherwise make when someone is holding a gun to their head.

    Of course, this God, knowing everything that will happen in the future, foresees that more than 95% of the people he creates (without asking us if we wanted to be created) will either not be well enough informed to get out of hell or will simply reject the idea of a need for Christian salvation. But the Christian God, knowing this in advance, still decided to create these humans even though he knew he'd end up torturing billions of them in an endless lake of fire, all so he could have a handful of the faithful to give him love and adoration.

    Not yet satisfied, this God decides to create his get-out-of-hell-free card by killing his own creation or by killing his own son. First he has his followers kill and burn animals because he really got off smelling the burning blood. Then he turned his son into one of his creation so he could have him beaten and killed with his blood flowing everywhere. And to top it off, he also said that those who love and adore him should then either symbolically or literally eat the human flesh and drink the human blood of his son in order to fully love and adore this God.

    This God really loves spilling blood and then making people drink it.

    Finally, this God decided to tell his created people of this plan through a cryptic and hard to interpret set of books and then relied on his created people to join together to decide which of those books really came from this God and which ones did not. They couldn't do it based on evidence, however, so they just basically guessed. Because this God didn't decide to make it clear to all humans just how to get their get-out-of-hell-free card, this God allowed the obvious confusion to lead to thousands of different interpretations of this set of books, meaning many who think they have found God's get-out-of-hell-free card actually will still be tossed into the lake of fire by this loving God.

    Oh, and to make it even worse, this God decides to be mute most of the time, and instead asks those who love and adore him to be his spokespeople, thus allowing all kinds of strange things to be said in his name.

    Amen, and pass the plate.

    BTW: Everything I listed here is biblically supported and exists in all major Christian doctrines. Most, however, make it a little more palatable and flowery.

    (I saw this I just had to post this here...

    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    That pretty much sums it up. And people actually believe this crap. Talk about gullible.

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    Ohh stop now your sounding just as dumb as Lyfe over there. First off, I've gone through that link of yours.

    Not one scientist in that entire piece talks about how EVOLUTION has never occurred, they all agree that it A) has taken place, B) is taking place currently, C) has taken place now even as we speak. None of them also state the "GOD of the Gaps" argument you people are trying to make. Like I said, you want to disagree about variation, geological time scales, dating methods, the actual genetic ancestor to ourselves...that's all perfectly permissible. But understand these disagreements are based on two things A) Evidence, B) Logical conclusions. Scientists disagreeing eventually over EVOLUTION science is only going to lead folks further away..thank goodness from the primitive, ignorant, dumb assertions of the book of fables many folks seem to put so much stock and trust in. If society was to stop as at the technological and medical advance since the bible...we would not have over 95% of the things we have now today.

    Science will always take time to find the ANSWERS..correctly by weighing the evidence we have present. Religion is always going to do nothing more than state for the answers sciences does not currently possess to equate them to GOD or some other deity.

    You cannot prove GOD is not really Zeus in disguise. Or Jesus did walk the earth. You folks make the assertion these things are real. Now if you want to argue over what is "real" and "truth" I direct you both to Socrates and Plato.

    I and other like me on the other hands...state there is no diety not based on anger..but simply because there is no evidence to prove there actually is one. Some of the designs alone on rabbits, the human body...are not the intelligent way they should've been designed had their been a creator involved. You say there is a GOD, angels, demons, heaven, hell...by all means bring back evidence of their being one..instead of handing out beliefs as truth that you know fully well cannot be backed up.

    Science will always be science..whose to say in 100 years..a magician will not be looked at as a prophet.

    Once again go back to the other thread....I've already explained what "theory" means in scientific terms..if you grasped this concept already..then clearly you did not understand it based on your response. Evolution has been proven to occur...PERIOD. Still waiting on some convincing proof and evidence of your GODS, demi-Gods etc..etc..

    I don't have faith in evolutionary theory...I know it is true...because it's a fact..fact's by definition are values which have been proven to be true by venue of evidence and logic.

    You people really do have trouble with the definition of "faith" don't you?

    It is not faith that 1+1=2, it is not faith that there are 12 inches in 1 foot, it is not faith that there are 60 minutes in 1 hour. THESE ARE ALL FACTS.

    It is faith however, when you believe there is a divine creator in the sky that in order to get into paradise you have to watch everything you do and say...that a man died and physically went up into the clouds eventhough after the stratosphere there is no oxygen..that this same man walked on water...turn 2 fish and 3 loaves of bread to feed thousands..that bushes can burn and talk to you...that his spit made a blind man start seeing again...that there is an evil beast that want's your soul..that you have a soul..that 1 man and 1 woman can start an entire population of over 6 billion people...that thunder is GOD banging his hammer...that water can be turned into whine...that any metal can be turned into gold (alchemy)...that since there is a paradise..and GOD has made life so ****ty for u..it's wrong to skip straight to GO..and collect your heavenly reward of paradise...(no suicide)...it's faith when you decide that you will LIVE after your are DEAD..it is faith when you believe a serpent can mouth words to a woman...that Angels knock on people's doors in the middle of the night...that a woman can turn into a pillar of salt for simply looking back..that it's all right for man to have sex with his two daughters eventhough he is drunk.

    Faith is nothing more than the reasoning of fools based on stupidity.

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    While science is taking it's time to find these answers, I'm still waiting for one of the wise evolutionist's to disprove 1 prophecy for me. Has not happened yet.

    Plus, if science is the way, why is the world so jacked up? We live in the age of technology. Why is the world worse than it has ever been?

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    Originally Posted by Knicks4lyfe
    While science is taking it's time to find these answers, I'm still waiting for one of the wise evolutionist's to disprove 1 prophecy for me. Has not happened yet.

    Plus, if science is the way, why is the world so jacked up? We live in the age of technology. Why is the world worse than it has ever been?
    Can you prove your god thought? No. They are on equal levels.

    And who says the world is worse? Are you crazy? People living longer, better rights and liberties, social equality making leaps and bounds, etc... Yeah, its a lot better than the days of kings and public stonings that you wished you lived in.

    I'm quite sick of your idiotic statements like that one.

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    Originally Posted by TunerAddict
    Can you prove your god thought? No. They are on equal levels.
    God's word foretold what our time would be like. In fact, with deeper study of the bible it foretold the leading world power that would even exist in our time. There is no way John or any other bible writer could have known these things unless someone with Knowledge could convey them. That is my proof.

    Originally Posted by TunerAddict
    And who says the world is worse? Are you crazy? People living longer, better rights and liberties, social equality making leaps and bounds, etc... Yeah, its a lot better than the days of kings and public stonings that you wished you lived in.

    I'm quite sick of your idiotic statements like that one.
    Keep these two bible quotes in mind when reading this excerpt from Wiki.

    PSALMS 90:10 In themselves the days of our years are seventy years;
    And if because of special mightiness they are eighty years,
    Yet their insistence is on trouble and hurtful things;
    For it must quickly pass by, and away we fly.

    ECCLESIATES 3:11 Everything he has made pretty in its time. Even time indefinite he has put in their heart, that mankind may never find out the work that the [true] God has made from the start to the finish.

    This is saying mankinds years on avg are between 70-80 years. And even that most people do not want to die, and want to live forever. The bible says God put these things in motion. Let's see what Wiki says about our current lifespan and if people are satisfied with it.

    History
    Longevity according to the [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of the [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] was estimated on average to be "threescore and ten", that is 70 years, and "by reason of strength be extended to fourscore", that is 80 years.[Only registered and activated users can see links. ] In addition, [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], the famous lawgiver of Ancient Greece, in his dialogue with Croesus stated 70 as the allotted length of life for man.[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]] The longest living person as recorded in the [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] was [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], who was said to have lived nearly a millennium.
    There are many organizations dedicated to exploring the causes behind aging, ways to prevent aging, and ways to reverse aging. Despite the fact that it is human nature not to wish to surrender to old age and death, a few organizations are against antiaging because they believe it sacrifices the best interests of the new generation and/or that it is unnatural and/or unethical. Others are dedicated to it, seeing it as a form of [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] and the pursuit of [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. Even among those who do not wish for eternal life, longevity may be desired to experience more of life or to provide a greater contribution to humanity.
    A remarkable statement mentioned by [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] (c. 250) is the earliest (or at least one of the earliest) references about plausible centenarian longevity given by a scientist, the astronomer [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of Nicea (c.185c.120 B.C.), who, according to the doxographer, assured that the philosopher [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] (c.470/460c.370/360 B.C.) lived 109 years. All other accounts given by the ancients about the age of Democritus appear to, without giving any specific age, agree on the fact that the philosopher lived over 100 years. This is a possibility that turns out to be likely, given the fact that many ancient Greek philosophers are thought to have lived over the age of 90 (e.g., [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], c.570/565c.475/470 B.C., [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of Ellis, c.360c.270 B.C., [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of Cirene c.285c.190 B.C., etc.) and because of the difference that the case of Democritus evidences from the case of, for example, [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of Crete (VII, VI centuries B.C.), who is said to have lived 154, 157 or 290 years, as has been said about countless elders even during the last centuries as well as in the present time. These cases are not verifiable by modern means.

    [[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]] Present life expectancies around the world

    Various factors contribute to an individual's longevity. Significant factors in life expectancy include [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], access to [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], diet and [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], and [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. Below is a list of life expectancies in different types of countries:[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . . 77-83 years (e.g. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: 80.1 years, 2005 est)
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]:. . . 35-60 years (e.g. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: 40.3 years, 2005 est)
    Population [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] can be seen as increasing due to increases in life expectancies around the world:[Only registered and activated users can see links. ][Only registered and activated users can see links. ][[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]:. . . . . 81.02 years in 2002, 82.31 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . 80 years in 2002, 80.39 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]:. . . . . . 79.25 years in 2002, 79.68 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . . .79.05 years in 2002, 79.60 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . 77.78 years in 2002, 78.65 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . . . . . 77.99 years in 2002, 78.4 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]: . . . . . 77.4 years in 2002, 77.7 years in 2005[[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]]
    The current validated longevity records can be found in the list of [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]. Notable individuals include:
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] (1875-1997, 122 years and 164 days) the oldest person in history whose age has been verified by modern documentation. This defines the human [Only registered and activated users can see links. ], which is set by the oldest documented individual who ever lived.
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] (1865-1986, 120 years 237 days, disputed) the oldest male ever recognized by the [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]; this is widely questioned by scholars, who believe that [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] of dates has occurred and this has compromised the authenticity of Izumi's age.
    • [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] (1882-1998, 115 years 252 days) the oldest male widely accepted by scholars.
    So even in today's superb technological society, people are still living on avg between 70-80 years. Just like the bible writer in Psalms said.

    By the way. With all these technological advances we have, we still have world famine on a global worst scale. We still have jobless, homeless, uneducated, unhealthy people on alarming scales. Drugs killing our people. Corrupt leaders in governments. We have seen more deaths in the last 90 plus years due to war than all of the wars from ad 1 to ad 1899. We have nuclear warheads that could wipe out huge chunks of life in an instant, and the fear that a nutbag world ruler might set on off. Meanwhile, scientists continue to help governments build them.

    News flash. The more advancements we make, the more we seem to go backwards. 1 step forward for science, two steps back for man. And they are still figuring things out.

    Meanwhile, the bible stays consistent, with credible answers to why things are, and what will soon be. One just has to wanna peer into it.

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    This thread is 3GB of gay on a 750MB USB key.

    My thoughts: Athiest are wrong for trying to debate with other's faith.
    Christians are wrong for trying to turn faith into fact; the Bible has been outdated.

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    Originally Posted by metrocard
    This thread is 3GB of gay on a 750MB USB key.

    My thoughts: Athiest are wrong for trying to debate with other's faith.
    Christians are wrong for trying to turn faith into fact; the Bible has been outdated.
    Problem with you saying faith is not based on fact is that the bible has prophetic word. This word has proven true in each of them. So that would prove what you just said false about faith not having fact.

    Also, about the bible being outdated,

    If men did not do these things, would the world be a lot better off?

    Murder
    Fornicate
    Adultery
    steal
    lie
    covet


    If you say yes the world would be better off, then the bible cannot be outdated, because that would mean these principles, if applied by men for all time man is here, would only help mankind prosper. So when would it then be outdated? How a person could say no the world would not be better off if people lived by not doing those things is beyond me.

    Before you object really think about your answer.

    Because in effect you would be saying the world is better off if people

    Murder
    fornicate
    adultery
    steal
    lie
    covet.

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    Originally Posted by Knicks4lyfe
    Problem with you saying faith is not based on fact is that the bible has prophetic word. This word has proven true in each of them. So that would prove what you just said false about faith not having fact.

    Also, about the bible being outdated,

    If men did not do these things, would the world be a lot better off?

    Murder
    Fornicate
    Adultery
    steal
    lie
    covet


    If you say yes the world would be better off, then the bible cannot be outdated, because that would mean these principles, if applied by men for all time man is here, would only help mankind prosper. So when would it then be outdated? How a person could say no the world would not be better off if people lived by not doing those things is beyond me.

    Before you object really think about your answer.

    Because in effect you would be saying the world is better off if people

    Murder
    fornicate
    adultery
    steal
    lie
    covet.
    The Bible is outdated, because it was written 1,000s of years ago. The Bible actually says nothing about North America or South America, because people orignally thought that there was only 3 continents. It also doesn't say anything about Australia or Antartica. It also implies that the Earth has 4 corners, because people used to believe that the world was flat.

    Whether someone believes in the Bible or not, it should not be debateable whether or not the Bible is outdated, because it was written 1,000s of years ago in the perspective of someone that lived 1000s of years ago, too.

    Revelation- Chapter 7, Verse 1
    "After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] holding back the four winds of the earth so that no wind could blow on land or sea or against any tree."

    The Earth is round, so it doesn't have any corners. It has zero sides and zero corners. Maybe the people that wrote the Bible made a mistake, because humans are imperfect, but the rules of Mathematics says that a circle is not a polygon, nor does it have sides or corners.

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    Originally Posted by abcd
    The Bible is outdated, because it was written 1,000s of years ago. The Bible actually says nothing about North America or South America, because people orignally thought that there was only 3 continents. It also doesn't say anything about Australia or Antartica. It also implies that the Earth has 4 corners, because people used to believe that the world was flat.

    Whether someone believes in the Bible or not, it should not be debateable whether or not the Bible is outdated, because it was written 1,000s of years ago in the perspective of someone that lived 1000s of years ago, too.

    Revelation- Chapter 7, Verse 1
    "After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] holding back the four winds of the earth so that no wind could blow on land or sea or against any tree."

    The Earth is round, so it doesn't have any corners. It has zero sides and zero corners. Maybe the people that wrote the Bible made a mistake, because humans are imperfect, but the rules of Mathematics says that a circle is not a polygon, nor does it have sides or corners.

    It can't be outdated if it can be applicable in our time. That is the true meaning of outdated.

    That is a trivial argument you pose by the way, because the bible also acknowledges the earth is a sphere that hangs on nothing. So clearly the 4 corners of the earth must be for a terminalogy reference rather than it actually being square.

    And no, the bible does not say north america, or australia and such, but it does reference a certain dual world power that happens to be the chief agent behind the former league of nations, which is now call the UN.

    I ask again. If mankind did not do these things, woul the world be a much better place?

    Murder
    fornicate
    adultery
    lie
    covet

    Would the world be better without these kinds of things? If you say yes, then how can the bible be outdated when It says man should not do these things?

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