Thought I'd take this opportunity to show people how much they don't like my taste in music. So if you don't enjoy a **** in your mouth, press play NOW





After a woeful loss to the Kings at home, the Knicks WILL enter tonight's game with a ferocious appetite. What's on the menu? The Phoenix Suns. Banishers of the Thunderous Jew.






Vanquished foes, The Phoenix Suns, were collectively raped recently in Arizona. The battered victims describe the 2 ring leaders of their assailants under the following physical outlines:

Rapey A - African American male, approx 6'10", wearing goggles, number 1 blue and orange jersey, apparently cried out "AND 1" at the point of multiple penetrations. (even I have to laugh at that)

Rapey B - African American male, approx 6'1", stumpy, aggressive, number 2 blue and orange jersey, versatile and had double figures in 3 rape categories.

Artist depictions unavailable



A LOOK BACK AT THE PILAGE OF THE DESERT




CAPTAIN RAY, BELITTLED IN PRIOR COMPARISONS TO STEVE NASH, ENGORGES HIMSELF UPON THE SUNS IN PHOENIX - RECORDING HIS FIRST TRIPLE DOUBLE AGAINST THE PLAYER WHO (UNINTENTIONALLY) WAS THE VERY CORE OF HIS CONDESCENDANCE. LIL' RAY AMPLIFIED THE SOUND OF HIS EMERGENCE AS AN ELITE NBA PG WITH A RESOUNDING CLAP OF ORANGE AND BLUE THUNDER


ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY -- "William Caxton, the first English printer, gave the earliest version of this saying in 'Aesope' (1484), his translation of Aesop's fables: 'He that hath ben ones begyled by somme other ought to kepe hym wel fro(m) the same.'


Looks Like These Cretins Are Back For More!

BUT THIS TIME, IT'S ON OUR TURF




FOOLS!




AND NOW..INTRODUCING TO YOU, KO.COM'S FIENDS OF FAGINA, THE TEAM THAT WILL ONCE AGAIN SMITE THEIR WESTERN FOE, YOUR NEW YORK KNICKERBOCKERS!

please excuse the ganja fuelled lunacy



STAT Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves...
Lord RaymondSome say he invented inventions and that he was born in a log cabin that he built...
The Empty Faced Killer Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground...

The Half Blood Prince
Some say when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks..
The Beard Of Zeus Some say that his genitals are worshipped in Mexico, and that if he could be bothered he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds...
TD23 Some say he can swim seven lengths underwater, and he has a webbed prostate...
The Ghost That Strokes ..Some say he invented the BJ, and that if you insult his mother he will headbutt you in the chest...
Sky Walker
Some say he discovered porno, and that he only eats midgets
No Gov No Lov.. Some say that he was the bullet fired to assassinate Franz Ferdinand, and that his butler is a monkey





KNICK IN THE SPOTLIGHT - LANDRY JEHOVAH FIELDS Esq. - THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE






The 2010-11 New York Knicks have been full of surprises, but by far the biggest surprise has been the effectiveness of their starting shooting guard. New York fans didn’t expect much when the Knicks selected Landry Fields with the ninth pick of the second round of June’s Draft, but the rookie has started every game this season and has become an invaluable part of the Knicks’ turnaround.

Fields has proven to be the kind of player fans love: He plays hard, doesn’t make many mistakes, knows the g spot well, has a well-rounded, balanced game … and boy, does he crash the boards.

It’s the most remarkable part of his game. The often-repeated stat on Fields’ rebounding is that he leads all NBA guards with 7.4 rebounds per game. But even that doesn’t tell the full story of how effective he is on the glass. Rebound Percentage estimates the percentage of available rebounds a player grabs. Going into Sunday night’s game against the Lakers, Fields had the best Defensive Rebound Percentage (20.1%) of any Knick who plays in the regular rotation, including Amar’e Stoudemire. Stoudemire is second at 19.5%.



Fields’ DReb% is not only outstanding for a guard, but it would be a very good mark even for a big man. If he were one percentage point higher at 21.1%, he would crack the Top-20 in the NBA. None of the Top-20 is shorter than 6-foot-9 and all of them are either centers or power forwards, except for Josh Smith and Lamar Odom, who play both forward positions. Among guards, Fields is in a class of his own. The only other guard who even approaches him is actually another rookie, Philadelphia’s Evan Turner, whose DReb% is an impressive 18.0%. This has been a crucial – and completely unexpected – contribution to the Knicks, who are not a good rebounding team as a whole and who would be in even worse shape without Fields.

Offensively, Fields is valuable because he can score effectively, despite not needing a lot of touches. In his role as slasher, spot-up shooter and mopping up around the basket, his offensive numbers are incredibly efficient. Before Sunday’s game, Fields ranked 15th in the NBA with a .521 field goal percentage – a number that would be great for a low-post big man, much less a shooting guard – and seventh with a .584 effective FG% (which is FG% adjusted for the value of three-pointers). From three-point range, he is shooting .371, which is second on the team among players with at least 50 attempts. He has even improved upon his free throw shooting from his college days. In his Stanford career, Fields was just a .676 free throw shooter, which is poor for a guard. But in his rookie season, he has improved to a respectable .739, although he still could stand to bring that number up.



But what’s perhaps most interesting about Fields is how few weaknesses stand out when you look at his statistics. He doesn’t commit a lot of fouls or take an unusually high percentage of jump shots; his turnover rate is about average. Really, his free throw shooting is his most noticeable blemish. This effectiveness manifests itself in the team’s play as a whole. Plus/minus (or a team’s net points, while a player is on the floor) is an imperfect way to evaluate players, but it can be a useful indicator. Fields’ plus/minus is the best on the Knicks. Digging into the Knicks’ floor time stats on 82games.com, as of Friday’s game, the Knicks outscore their opponents by a margin of 5.7 points per 48 minutes when Fields is on the court. When he is off the court, they are outscored by 7.2 points per 48 minutes, a 12.8-point swing.

New York will need Fields to play an even larger role with Danilo Gallinari injured, and already he has seen a bump in minutes with Gallo out. But it’s hard to imagine the Knicks could be any more pleased with the contributions of their rookie guard. Players selected at his draft position often don’t even make an NBA roster, whereas Fields is a key contributor for a team that looks playoff-bound and has become one of the league’s great stories.




X FACTOR - THE BEARD OF ZEUS, RONNY T



An opposing team’s typical scouting report on Ronny Turiaf can probably be captured in three sentences. He is energetic. He is defensive-minded, even a pest, at times. He also has pheromones that could take down a yak with lust, and once reached in to his beard and pulled out a Sherman tank.
His cutting and defence will discombobulate the Suns. I feel it in my waters.


Knoteworthy Performer

SKY WALKER!


Billy the kid has been playing exceptionally well since The Fall Of The ****. Relegated to the bench behind TD, Fields, Chandler and Gallo (on some occasions even Mason Jr.) he's re-emerged as an intrepid and important piece of our rotation.

He's shown prowess on the glass, an appetite for defence (and midgets) a sweet stroke and, though I'd prefer to see more, some penetration game.

Preview and updates to come.