The ko.com birthday wishes email.
Hello Crazy⑧s..
So, you've made it another year, huh? Impressive. Well, impressive if you consider your festering stagnant life clicking over another year an accomplishment. I bet you woke up today feeling a little bit excited still, huh? Despite all your misanthropic bullshit, a little part of you - that little part that dime-store psychologists like to refer to as the "inner child" - perked up a bit. "Hey, today is my birthday!" you thought.
Well no one ****ing cares! So go ahead, eat your cake, play with your new iPod knockoff, try on your new ****ing sweater while you add another notch on the social odometer of age that we use to validate your existence. You gonna go out and drink tonight? Shouldn't you put some of that money in savings? ****, you don't have many working years left, pal.
Anyhow, we at New York Knicks Fan Forums would like to wish you a Happy Birthday!
Brilliance!