Miami Purposely lose to Memphis
After handing the Knicks the win on a plate, and deciding at the last second to defeat the Denver Nuggets, the Heat have again generously allowed the Memphis Grizzlies to build upon their great start in the league.
When asked during the pre-game practice session, whether the heat were here to win, D Wade said:
"I'm not convinced we should be playing this game. We spent most of yesterday walking round town, and could not believe the devastation. I recently read an article in Forbes Magazine ranking Memphis as the most sedentary and obese city in the U.S.A. I paid little attention to it as I usually read about obesity issues in the U.S but rarely identify them."
There was a brief pause as Wade tried to maintain composure. I noticed a tear trickling down his right eye. The outburst followed shortly after:
"You don't understand." He exclaimed. "People here are really really fat. Fat and Lazy. In order to ensure they get to work every day, their employers have to leave a trail of zinger burgers and other such treats between each employee's home and their workplace."
At this point Wade throws the ball against the backboard with immense power, shattering the glass. The ball implodes and remains still on the floor. Within seconds, a group of overweight memphis fans are surrounding the ball, thinking it is some sort of meat pie.
I looked around me; Wade was gone. The game took place as scheduled with Wade scoring 8 points and shooting 3-15 from the field. I would probably have done the same.